Lippard.Multics 1986-01-06 11:11:25 mst Mon
Subject:  Christmas
Date:  Friday, 3 January 1986 07:55 mst
From:  Ron Barstad <RBarstad>
Subject:  for the misc forum from MIT bb
To:  Lippard

[3546] (49 lines) SIPB_Daemon.SIPB 01/02/86  0344.1 est Thu Bulletin_board
Subject:  Christmas
Date:  Thursday, 2 January 1986 00:20 est
From:  Ronald L. Rivest <RIVEST at MC.LCS.MIT.EDU>
To:  {invalid "(*MSG *MIT)@MC.LCS.MIT.EDU"}

                    'Twas the Night before Christmas -- The Very Last One
                    -----------------------------------------------------
                                        (Anon. 1986)

'Twas the night before Christmas -- the very last one --
When the blazing of lasers destroyed all our fun.

Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh,
A satellite spotted him making his way.

The Star Wars Defense System -- Reagan's desire
Was ready for action, and started to fire!

The laser beams criss-crossed and lit up the sky
Like a fireworks show on the Fourth of July.

I'd just finished wrapping the last of the toys
When out of my chimney there came a great noise.

I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
St. Nick bringing presents for missus and me.

But what I saw next was disturbing and shocking:
A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking!

Charred reindeer remains and a melted sleigh-bell;
Outside burning toys like confetti they fell.

So now you know, children, why Christmas is gone:
The Star Wars computer had got something wrong.

Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart;
'Twas hardly a chance it would work from the start.

It couldn't be tested, and no one could tell,
If the crazy contraption would work very well.

So after a trillion or two had been spent
The system thought Santa a Red missile sent.

So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
There won't be a Christmas -- since Santa is dead.