Lippard.Multics 1985-01-24 14:53:56 mst Thu
Subject:  LLNL predicts earthquake for tomorrow
Date:  Thursday, 24 January 1985 14:48 mst
From:  Pattin.Multics (Jay Pattin)
To:  {mbx >udd>m>jjl>misc>misc}

Today, employees at Livermore Lab received a memo entitled "Earthquake
Exercise"  which announced that "... an earthquake exercise will be
conducted" tomorrow and urged all employees to become familiar with
the proper procedures.  John Bruner, a member of the S-1 project staff, decided
that the term "earthquake exercise" as well as some of the instructions, needed
a little more explanation.  The following memo resulted.  There are many inside
jokes here, but I am assured that this mailing list will be at least
a little amused.

-- Jay Pattin


                              EARTHQUAKE EXERCISE
On Friday, January 25, 1985, LLNL will produce an artificial earthquake.
The earthquake will measure 6.0 on the Richter scale and will be
measured by appropriate buried instruments.  No radiation level
readings will be released to the public.  It is requested that you
become familiar with the following guidelines which will be in effect
during the earthquake (and any complications which may arise therefrom).

    1.    Instructions and information for emergency procedures will
          be transmitted by carrier pigeon.  The LLNL telephone system
          will be out of commission.

    2.    Secure all classified matter.  It is a good practice to avoid
          work with classified documents entirely.

    3.    If possible, close and lock all vaults and repositories.  Close
          any entrance holes that might be used by indigenous personnel
          (e.g. cats with bladder control problems).

    4.    If instructions to evacuate are given, panic.  (Do not attempt
          a reboot.)  Take your badge, car keys, purse and coat with
          you and head out to an isolated island in the Pacific.

    5.    You should not be carrying classified material from one area
          to another.  See point (2) above.

    6.    In an emergency, safety should be your primary concern.  Do
          not worry about saving your editor files or grabbing the
          Mark IIA IOP.

    7.    If you are escorting visitors, direct them to the nearest
          swimming pool, lake, or other large body of water in case the
          artificial earthquake should result in "complications".

NOTE:     Building coordinators or assembly-point leaders are responsible
          for assigning an employee to stand by building entrances until
          everyone can remember the new combinations on the doors to
          T-1877.

If it rains on Friday, the earthquake will be cancelled.