Date: Saturday, 4 August 1984 23:57 mst From: Ronald B. Harvey Subject: Miscellaneous Digest V3 #22 Reply-To: {mbx >udd>Multics>Lippard>misc>misc} To: {list >udd>Multics>Lippard>misc>misc} Miscellaneous Digest Volume 3 : Issue 22 Today's topics: Administrivia Proton Decay, or Are Diamonds Forever? The LASTWORD DUNE cast members ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Saturday, 4 August 1984 23:50 mst From: Ronald B. Harvey Subject: Administrivia Well, Jim is on vacation (he's at least gotten as far as an airport near NYC). At the last minute, we decided that I would keep things going until he returns. ------------------------------ Date: Saturday, 4 August 1984 23:47 mst From: Pattin.Multics (Jay Pattin) Subject: Proton Decay, or Are Diamonds Forever? From an article on unified field theories in the August issue of Atlantic: "The model worked - everything fit neatly into it. I was very excited, and I sat down and had a glass of scotch and thought about it for awhile. "Then I realized that this SO(10) group had an SU(5) subgroup. So I tried to build based on SU(5) that had the same sort of properties. That model turned out to be very easyy too. So I got even more excited, and had another scotch, and thought about it some more. "And then I realized this made the proton unstable." If the proton was unstable and would eventually fall apart, so would all atoms - and thus all matter, Georgi realized. If the model on his scratchpad were true, then the universe would ultimately disintegrate. He says, "At this point I became very depressed and went to bed." ------------------------------ Date: Thursday, 2 August 1984 08:21 mst From: Charlie Spitzer Subject: From ARMS-Discussion... Date: 24 Jul 84 07:52 PDT From: Richard B. August Subject: Amusing article from Computer Electronics Monthly FROM the July 1984 edition of Consumer Electronics Monthly.... The LASTWORD by Mel Buchwald Soviets and the Olympics: Put the blame on video A usually well-informed source advises that the Soviet Union moved to withdraw from the Olympic Games for electronic reasons, not political ones. Very simply, the overlords of the KGB feared there would be a mass defection of Soviet athletes in Los Angeles when the Olympians were exposed to the joys of America's secret weapon - consumer electronics- and, in particular, that most fearsome instrument of all - video recording equipment. The facts are that the Soviet populace appears to be hungry for the forbidden fruit of videotape recording, which their masters have steadfastly denied them. But the word has been spread by returning members of the Soviet elite who, while traveling abroad, have been dazzled by the profusion of recorders, cameras and tape in the morally decadent West. Forbidden Fruit News correspondents have reported the following vignettes as word of VCR seeps through the Iron Curtain into Mother Russia herself: o The premiere attraction in the lavishly furnished home of a millionaire black market queen in Minsk is a smuggled VCR on which visitors can watch "Swedish" tapes, underground jargon for pornographic films. o At a bar in a Black Sea spa, after-hours guests line up to pay admission for an opportunity to watch a TV screen in the corner flickering with showings of such forbidden tapes as CLOCKWORK ORANGE and The GODFATHER, which portray the joys of life in the West. These scenes exemplify the problem bedeviling Soviet authorities as they try to stifle the blossoming underground activity - the smuggling of video machines and the copying and distribution of American and European films. Who knows how many VHS and Beta machines a returning Olympic team might try to conceal from the prying hands of border guards? Calling it "ideological subversion", the masters of the Kremlin really mean "videological" subversion as they throttle the importation of VCRs, cameras and software. As a result, in Moscow, a secondhand VCR can cost $4,900; a color monitor, $9,800; one blank tape, $130; and a prerecorded Hollywood film, $250. And the average monthly wage is $234. Stockings And Yo-Yos As leader of the free world, out nation can certainly use Russian video hunger to turn the tide of the cold war in our favor. Back in 1951, we are told, a covert U.S. project dumped tons of nylon stockings, permanent-wave kits, yo-yos and wristwatches upon Russian cities from Voronezh to Vladivostok, resulting in wild rioting as the citizenry clawed and scratched for a taste of Western goodies. Why can't we repeat the attempt again - only this time shower the videotape-starved Soviet masses with VCRs, 13-inch color sets, blank tapes and prerecorded films? As an incentive toward genuine detente, it would be a lot cheaper and more effective than building more MX missiles, B-1 bombers and Polaris submarines. And can't you just imagine the sudden mellowing of the Politburo as they emerge from a private viewing of The Devil In Miss Jones? [This has been brought to you with tongue-(firmly)-in-cheek!] ------ ------------------------------ Date: Thursday, 2 August 1984 14:56 mst From: Charlie Spitzer Subject: From SF-Lovers Date: 15 Jul 84 7:52:05-PDT (Sun) From: sun!idi!qubix!steven @ Ucb-Vax.arpa Subject: Re: Request for cast of DUNE References: I don't know what the actual cast for DUNE is, however I do still have the suggestions someone made about half a year back about what they SHOULD have been. So without further ado....... (Steven Maurer) The Associated Press yesterday released information concerning the near completion of the movie version of Frank Herbert's "Dune". They neglected to announce any casting information, so we at Mellon Institute thought that we would fill this gap with our own suggestions: Baron Harkonnen Jackie Gleason ("One of these days, Leto, a one way trip to 'da doon. To 'da doon, Leto!") Emperor Shaddam Ricardo Montalbon ("Ah, Reverend Mother, are you aware of the old Ixian proverb that says, 'Melange is a dish best served cold'? You know, it is very cold in spice.") Duke Leto Marlon Brando (pretentious, overbearing, has the respect of his men, and you only see him for the first 15 minutes of the film. "Paul, my son, you are going to another planet. No wait, I did this line before...") Reverend Mother Joan Rivers ("Can we tawk? You wanna tawk? Here, stick your hand in this box...") Liet Kynes Ben Haggerty (man of the wild, knows everything about exobiology, but has a very common sense way of looking at things. "Well, see, this sandtrout is, like, kind of like a vector, you see. He, uh, has this, um...") Gurney Hallek Alec Karras ("Gurney just pawn in game of life.") Sandworm Frank Oz Stilgar Harrison Ford ("Shields may be one thing kid, but the sandworms will turn you into lunchmeat in a minute. Give me chrysknife in a tight spot anyday.") Doctor Yueh Hunter S. Thompson (See also his treatise "Fear and Loathing on Arrakis") Count Fenring Marty Feldman ("I was the Sisterhoods closest attempt at the Kwisatz Haderach. They got everything right except my future sight is a bit cockeyed. They call me the Ersatz Haderach.") Paul Muad'Dib Muhhamed Ali ("I float like an ornithopter, and I sting like a hunter-seeker. I'm the prettiest duke-apparent, and the protector of the weaker. And if you mess with my Fremen, you better call on your Guard, C'oz I'll make you a target on my righteous Jihad.") Princess Irulan Loni Anderson (We don't care if she can't act, we just want to see her in an Imperial Bikini). Chani Susan St. James (Ditto). Feyd Rautha Tom Selleck (We have to be fair). Lady Jessica Nancy Walker ("So. You killed him. You proud of yourself? My son, the killer. Oy, what would your father (may he rest in peace) say?") Thufir Hawat Hymie ("My first line approximation is for goodness and niceness.") Beast Rabban Bruce Weitz ("Okay, hairbag. It's into the arena with you!") Jamis David Carradine ("So grasshopper, you know about slipstyle boots. Big deal. Let's see how you hold up in a tahaddi-challenge.") Shadout Mapes Eddie Murphy ("'Dis here's mah' castle, see, an' I don' wan' no dumbass honkeys fum Caladan messin' wif it, you hear?") The theme song will be sung by Chrystal Gayle. ("Don't it make my brown eyes blue?") Disrespectfully submitted by Dan Klein and Robert Zimmermann. Casting for Dune Messiah (a.k.a "Jesus Christ Duneperstar") will commence soon. Bonus question: How many Fremen does it take to change a lightbulb? ------------------------------ End of Miscellaneous Digest ***************************