Date: Tuesday, 31 January 1984 15:00 mst From: James J. Lippard Subject: Miscellaneous Digest V3 #4 Reply-To: {mbx >udd>Multics>Lippard>misc>misc} To: {list >udd>Multics>Lippard>misc>misc} Miscellaneous Digest Volume 3 : Issue 4 Today's topics: Education Self-ref Story --------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Saturday, 21 January 1984 02:49 mst From: Harvey Subject: Education Date: 19 Jan 1984 19:55-EST From: JoSH at Rutgers Subject: Education Well, folks, I just discovered the solution to the nation's educational problems. It's simple. All we have to do is to use the tried and true economic policies of the past half century. Every student who makes more than a certain grade will have points taken off. The higher his grade, the more points will be taken. After all, someone who makes such high grades when there are other students languishing in ignorance, must surely have exploited the other students. These points will be collected and added to the grades of the slow, the disadvantaged, and the underachievers. This redistribution program will eliminate the widespread grade disparity which, liberal researchers have proven, is the underlying cause of stupidity. We can look forward to the day of total academic socialization when everyone is assigned exactly the average grade. Then our educational problems will be solved forever. --JoSH -------------------- Delivery-Date: 31 January 1984 14:47 mst Date: Tuesday, 31 January 1984 14:46 mst From: James J. Lippard Subject: Self-ref Story Found in a private meeting, transaction dated 01/15/83 (entered by Lippard.Scouting): This Is the Title of This Story, Which is Also Found Several Times in the Story Itself This is the first sentence of this story. This is the second sentence. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two sentences. This sentence is to inform you, in case you haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential story, that is, a story containing sentences that refer to their own structure and function. This is a sentence that provides an ending to the first paragraph. This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a self-referential story. This sentence is introducing you to the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This sentence is telling you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and 12 years old and strangling his mother. This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the self-referential narrative form while recognizing the strange and playful detachment it affords the writer. As if illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this sentence reminds us, with no trace of facetiousness, that children are a precious gift from God and that the world is a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights they bring to it. This sentence describes Billy's mother's eyes bulging and tongue protruding and makes reference to the unpleasant choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence makes the observation that these are uncertain and difficult times and that relationships, even seemingly deep-rooted and permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down. Introduces in this paragraph the device of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment. Another. Good device. Will be used more later. This is actually the last sentence of the story, but has been placed here by mistake. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed into a gigantic insect. This sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from another story entirely (a much better one, it must be noted) and has no place at all in this particular narrative. In spite of the claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence feels compelled to inform you that the story you are reading is in actuality "The Metamorphosis," by Franz Kafka, and that the sentence referred to by the preceding sentence is the only sentence that does indeed belong in this story. This sentence overrides the preceding sentence by informing the reader (poor, confused wretch) that this piece of literature is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the author, in a show of extreme negligence (if not malicious sabotage), has so far failed to include even one single sentence from that stirring document, although he has condescended to use a small sentence fragment, namely "When in the course of human events," embedded in quotation marks near the end of a sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the pointless conceptual games indulged in by the previous sentences, this sentence returns us at last to the scenario of the story by asking the question, "Why is Billy strangling his mother?" This sentence attempts to shed some light on the question posed by the preceding sentence but fails. This sentence, however, succeeds in that it suggests a possible incestuous relationship between Billy and his mother and alludes to the concomitant Freudian complications any astute reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable taboo. The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the sentence fragments? Good literary device. Will be used more later. This is the first sentence in a new paragraph. This is the last sentence in a new paragraph. This sentence can serve as either the beginning of a paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence raises a serious objection to the entire class of self-referential sentences that merely comment on their own function or placement within the story (e.g., the last four sentences), on the grounds that they are monotonously predictable, unforgivably self-indulgent and merely serve to detract the reader from the real subject of this story, which at this point seems to concern strangulation and incest and who knows what other delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence is to point out that the preceding sentence, while not itself a member of the self-referential sentences it objects to, nevertheless also serves merely to distract the reader from the real subject of this story, which actually concerns Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation into a gigantic insect (in spite of the vociferous counterclaims of other well-meaning though misinformed sentences). This sentence can serve as either the beginning of a paragraph or the end, depending on its placement. I can't type anymore. The story goes on for another 2 columns, if you want to read it yourself, take a look at "Metamagical Themas" by Douglas R. Hofstadter in the January 1982 issue of Scientific American. -------------------- End of Miscellaneous Digest ***************************