Date:  8 February 1983 07:27 mst
From:  Lippard.DSOP (James J. Lippard)
Subject:  Miscellaneous Digest V2 #7
Reply-To:  misc
To:   (Miscellaneous Mailing List)

Miscellaneous Digest                              Volume 2 : Issue 7

Today's topics:
		Real Programmers
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Date:  8 February 1983 07:27 mst
From:  Lippard.Scouting (James J. Lippard)
Subject:  Real Programmers

Date: 3 February 1983 01:47 EST
From: Richard P. Wilkes <RICK @ MIT-MC>
Subject: Real Programmers

Thought that you all might find this interesting...

'Real Programmers' Don't Eat From Vending Machines
     by Jean Tricebock, ComputerWorld Nov 1, 1982

     We are all aware now, thanks to the book by the same name,
that Real Men don't eat quiche.
     The premise of the book is that a Real Man is the male
individual who successfully copes with all the assaults of
modern society on his sanity, private life, personal space, and
wallet.
     Well, all that's fine, but how does all of this relate to
the Real Programmer?
     At one time, the Real Programmer worked quietly in his own
provate world, unhindered by the necessity to maintain
congenial interpersonal relations or to explain his work to
some interested party (such as an analyst).
     But now the programmer must cope with group leaders,
quality assurance analysts, walk-throughs and performance
reviews, not to mention structured specifications, time-sharing
services, interdepartmental communications, dress for success
and recalcitrant soda machines.

    Are you a real programmer?

     - Real Programmers don't number paragraph names
consecutively.
     - Real Programmers do not grumble about the disadvantages
of Pascal when they don't know any other language.
     - Real Programmers print only clean compiles, fixing all
errors through the terminal.
     - Real Programmers are kind to rookies.
     - Real Programmers are secure enough to write readable
code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.
     - Real Programmers don't play video games; they write
them.
     - Real Programmers do not eat breakfast from vending
machines.
     - Real Programmers punch up their own programs.
     - Real Programmers have read the standards manual, but
won't admit it.
     - Real Programmers don't dress for success unless they are
trying to convince others that they are going on interviews.
     - Real Programmers do not practice four syllable words
before walk-throughs.
     - Real Programmers argue with the systems analyst as a
matter of principle.
     - Real Programmers drink too much coffee so that they will
always seem tense and overworked.
     - Real Programmers always have a better idea.
     - Real Programmers can do octal, hexadecimal and binary
math in their heads.
     - Real Programmers do not write memos.
     - Real Programmers do not utter profanities at elevated
decibel levels.
     - Real Programmers do not apply DP terminology to non-DP
situations.
     - Real Programmers do not read books like Effective
Listening and Communication Skills.


{Tricebock is a systems analyst}
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End of Miscellaneous Digest
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